A convention was held, a nominee was selected, an election followed, and skunks domestic and wild have sent me, Pepe the advocate to speak on our behalf. The species slander, mislabeled stereotyping and euthenization without trial or just cause must be stopped. This page is dedicated to Pepe taking a stand and making the case for all skunks. If government officials were actually willing to listen to issues and concerns from Pepe’s point of view, this is the debate that would follow.

You are not a normal American pet!

     That is true, we are getting sparse, but we are the Original American Pets. We were the most noble companion animals of the Native Americans when Christopher Columbus discovered our great nation. Our ancestors formed lifelong bonds with many great American Indian Chiefs and followed them loyally across the land of the free.

You are too stinky to be a pet!

     I myself was de scented before I left the farm, and actually have no odor. As far as my wild cousins go, they only spray in self-defense. If they do spray, it takes around ten hours to reload. That is why they use scare dances and stomping. Spray and run is there only chance against predators.

It is inhumane to have you de scented

     It was a minimally painful procedure. I believe it was actually less traumatic than being fixed. I would say it is less stressful than a ferret being descented. I really feel sorry for dogs that are debarked. It was nowhere near as bad as tail cropping or ear cropping.  Do you remember being circumcised? 

You are a nuisance animal, always climbing in trash cans and such!

     I am only pesky when I need something like any other pet. You are always blaming my wild cousins for many things they do not do. They are often blamed for getting into trash cans, when none of us can even climb. They are a vital part of nature’s clean up crew. They get rid of a lot of the bugs, insects, rats, and mice you don’t like. From now on, I suggest you talk to Rocky and Fido about the trash cans.

You are not fit to live in a house!

     Domesticated skunks can use litter boxes just like domesticated cats. We actually need houses. We are fond of toys and like having a place to put them. We prefer sleeping in beds. We enjoy the company of other pets. We are skeptical of strangers so it is best that we have our own room to hide and play by ourselves when you have company we don’t know.

You carry rabies

     This is a common myth. It is true that my wild cousins are a common vector for the disease, but it is extremely rare for a domestic skunk to be infected with it. According to the CDC, stray dogs and cats are far more likely to cause an outbreak reaching humans. As a matter of fact, many of my family’s farms have been rabies free for over sixty years. The only way one of us could even contract the disease is if we were actually bitten by a rabid animal. When was the last time you let a rabid animal come inside your house?

We do not have a USDA licensed vaccine for rabies in skunks.

     That is your own fault. There are effective vaccines commonly used for us domestics and used off label in Canada for our wild cousins. The prohibition and kill only policy you currently have in place against us has made it nearly impossible for our owners to convince manufacturers to go through the expensive process of getting a USDA license specifically for us. There is simply not a large enough market to recoup the cost involved.

Aahh, I got you there!!! As long as you are illegal, people will never care about you.

     See, that is where you are not thinking long term. People will never let you render our species extinct, so sooner or later you will have to approve a vaccine for us. The only question is when. You could lift the ban on us, and let the private sector take care of it now, or you could wait for a time when it has to be done for public health concerns. Right now our vaccine could be approved for around half a million dollars. What do you think will happen to that estimate when different state agencies across the country are footing the bill?

You are still a danger to public health!

     Loving families who adopt us treat us with the care and compassion our noble heritage deserves. We are often a favorite pet of our owners. All who look past the stereotypes your bans have unfairly mislabeled us with will be able to enjoy our playful behavior. We are no higher risk than any other loved animal. As a matter of fact, we are far less likely to be abandoned than other more common pets.

You will cause an imbalance in nature.

     I am not sure I understand the accusation. I am domesticated; I cannot survive in the wild on my own. I have no defense from predators. I have not been trained to find food. Are you asking if I will breed? Only my cousins on the farms are not fixed. Mating cycles can cause stress to our health so our families have us fixed just like cats and dogs.

Allowing you will create Bambi syndrome

     No, you are out of touch with people. Your bans cause Bambi syndrome. Of all the ban laws you have, how many are successful? Criminals will always be criminals. By allowing us to be loved in monitored environments, you will start to change public outlook towards our wild cousins and us. By allowing wildlife rehabilitates to help our distressed cousins, people will not try to raise orphaned babies. The only reason people do now is because they know when they call a rehabber or animal control officer for help they are signing the babies’ death certificate. If they knew they could get help, they would not try on their own. Most people do not want to see any of us die.

You will be a fad pet

     Do you even know the requirements to get a USDA license? There is paperwork. There are permit fees. A conservation officer actually goes to inspect our homes. Everything must be in order before a permit is granted. People will not go through this much trouble if they do not really care for us. We are not asking to be sold in pet stores on every corner. We are simply asking you for a humane policy towards us. We want to be loved in monitored environments under the USDA Animal Welfare Regulations.  We also want the same access to health care as any other species.

Veterinarians do not know how to provide care for you.

     I bet they know more than you think. With your current policies in place they could get into trouble for helping us. If you were a vet, you would plead the 5th. Our families are a tight knit community across the nation. There is a vast network of experienced vet’s willing to share their knowledge with those who need it.

You say people will pay for permits, huh?

     Yes, many states charge permits ranging from $30.00 to $50.00 per year. I think a fur bearing mammal permit is around $25.00 per year in Illinois right now.

I have heard enough Pepe, you have proven your case. Let’s go see if my wife will make a place for you in the spare bedroom. Maybe you could help me with this mass transit thing on the way...